I speak of the offspring of Zach Ponderosa Pine. That's his name.
Seriously. Stop making that face. Check his birth certificate.His kids little heinies came to my house.
It was Zach Ponderosa Pine's Mr. Mom day.
See these twin baby boys? I'm in love.
It's a forever love.
I love them like I love chips and salsa.
And chilled Tiramisu.
Each of these boys are like performance parts.
Like ultra ride cars.
I give you Liam Procharger....
and his bro, Aiden Nitrous.
Picture two human engines constantly pulling in air and mixing it with fuel. This mixture is burned and produces horsepower.
Just ONE little boy is like a stock engine. Stock engines depend on vacuum and atmospheric pressure to get the air fuel mixture into the combustion chamber of your engine.....
but twin boys are superchargers physically compressing the air, making it denser and shoves it down your engines throat! One of them is about to shove the other off the play set. "Do it!" I hear.
No one was injured during the filming of this twin documentary.
For the time being, I put the superchargers in the tower with their sister, Calamity Jane. I gave them popsicles.
She'll be alright. She's the last child I worry about being overwhelmed by supercharged twin brothers. Janie's got a gun.
However, once the popsicles are gone, I'll have to think of something else to occupy their time. Lord Jesus, may they be slow suckers.
FYI, there are Post-it Notes on each of them which say, "If found, please return to Mrs. Lowe. We dig her play set. We eat her popsicles. Our mom will pick us up later. Thanks."
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go kiss all three of their little heads and entertain them with my best performance of "Walk Like An Egyptian". Should be good.