Thursday, June 9, 2011

"Buttchur Barstools R' Dirty."

My mom came for a visit this past Saturday.  You remember the post. 

Does this disaster jog your memory?

What does that saying really mean, anyway?  "JOG your MEMORY?"

I'm here.

My mother was raised on a dairy and beef farm.  She has a small town accent that I just love.  It's REAL thick when she goes home fur a visit.  I remember it got strong when she would talk on the phone with her mom when I was a kid.  I always knew who she was talking to.  

Speaking of my mom's mom, my Ganny, she was funny and my mom is funny.  It's funny how we turn out to be funny like our own funny mother's.  

Count how many times I just said "funny".  Raise your hand when you have the answer. 

My Ganny was refined.  She was homegrown.  She was full of beef and milk straight from the cow and that's the truth.  She was blunt.

Since menopause, my mom sounds just like Ganny.  Blunt.  No edit button.  Ornery.  Delightful, refined, but gives ya the milk straight from the cow.  No skim milk out of her mouth.  

Case in point from last Saturday:
 Mom walks in the door.  "Hi mom.  I got my house all clean".  
 She looks around.  "Ya, buttchur' barstools r' dirty."
Me: "they ARE?!!!!!"
 Mom: "Ya.  Thur' real dirty.  Ya got dirt on-nim'."
"See whur' ev'rybody's grabbed dem'?"  [Does anyone know how to type this kind of talking?]
 "See the dirt n' grime on the backs n' behind the posts?"
 "Ya needta' spray em'.  Tell yur' husband ta' bring home one-na' them power sprayers he might have out-dat work'.
"Need-ta spray-em' then polish em' up sos' people'll wanna sit on-nem'.
"May wanna git-cha sum' Murphy's Soap n' scrub-m' up, n' make em' shine."
So I did.  They're clean.  They've been power sprayed.  They've been scrubbed with Murphy's Soap.  They've been polished.  
Com-mon ov-r' if ya wanna sit on-nem. 

The girl with the most beautiful mom in the world.  Who I wouldn't change fur nothin'.

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