Empty your dishwasher instead.
Or fold laundry.
Or watch The Young & The Restless.
Or salt the ice on your porch.
I checked in with Annie Oakley in Idaho a couple of days ago via text. The following was our conversation. I love my conversations with her. It pulls me up out of the mire of life. It makes me remember that in other places, the sky is blue, the snow is glistening and the cows are....well, you'll see.
Me to her: "Hi! I love you! You're my favorite person in the whole world! You're good at everything and you have a real farm!"
Annie Oakley: "Yup, a real farm. With real snow and real horses trying to gather real cows in the butt freezing cold."
Me to her: "I understand your frustration but this is great blog material! Yee-haw!!!!"
Annie Oakley: "The poor horses can barely run in the snow."
Me to her: "Hey, I got a new color of shellac on my nails the other day! They are painted red and covered with a pink gloss. They turned out real nice. Want to see a picture?!!"
Annie Oakley: "Ummmmm, surrrrrre. Like, maybe later when I feel like I don't have anything important to do."
Annie Oakley: "Here she comes!"
Me to her: "Who?"
Apparently the round-up was unsuccessful because one cow was keeping the herd from being "gather-able". That is a very scientific term in the cattle ranching industry: GATHER-ABLE.
And when you're causing a problem such as making a herd un-gather-able, this is what happens.
But then we all get THIS:
On behalf of Jon Farms and myself....HAPPY THURSDAY TO VEGANS EVERYWHERE!